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September 14, 2026

How to Talk About Suicide—and Potentially Save a Life

September 14, 2026

September is Suicide Prevention Month—a time dedicated to raising awareness and supporting meaningful action around one of the most urgent mental health issues of our time. To mark this important occasion, Catherine Schaefer, Vice President, Quality, Provider Services, moderated a discussion with two VNS Health colleagues who bring decades of experience in suicide prevention: Jeri Goodman, Associate Director, Social Work Services, and Deirdre DeLeo, Director, Behavioral Health Programs.

In their conversation, posted below, they discuss why talking about suicide matters, how to approach someone we’re concerned about, and the role all of us can play in creating a culture of connection and support.

Catherine: Why is it so important that we talk openly about suicide?

Jeri: Simply put, talking about suicide helps save lives. We want everybody to feel more comfortable talking about mental health struggles, and we want to de-stigmatize saying, “I need help and getting help.” There’s a common myth that asking someone about suicide might increase their risk or put the idea in their head if they haven’t been thinking about it. But evidence shows that talking about suicide actually reduces risk. Being willing to talk about suicide with compassion and empathy and an open mind also gives the person you’re talking to permission to talk about their struggles. So very often, initiating this conversation can be a relief to somebody who may be carrying around lots of burdens, but might be afraid to share them or ask for help.

Deirdre: We also need to dispel another myth, which is that thoughts of suicide are only associated with people who have a behavioral health disorder. Studies show that you don’t have to have a behavioral health diagnosis to struggle with thoughts of not wanting to live. We need to approach this from a public health perspective: In the same way we encourage conversations around healthy eating, we should be teaching people how to have conversations around thoughts of not wanting to live anymore.

Catherine: These can be difficult conversations. How should someone approach a person they’re worried about?

Deirdre: These conversations are incredibly hard for everyone, including mental health professionals. It takes time, practice, and then taking a deep breath and having a very brave moment. I suggest using a simple three-step framework: Ask. Listen. Get help.

First, ask directly and compassionately: “Hey, I’m really concerned about you. Are you having any thoughts that you don’t want to live anymore?” It’s not an easy question to ask, but you can ask it as plainly as that. Then listen without judgment. Don’t tell someone they shouldn’t feel that way. Be open to their perspective and the pain that they may be in.

And lastly, you’re going to get help for the person you’re talking with. This could mean phoning the 988 Lifeline, or connecting them with our own Behavioral Health services, or calling 911 if it’s an immediate emergency. When possible, I would also suggest that you stay with them while you get them help.

Here’s another thing to keep in mind: if you ask someone about suicidal thoughts and they don’t want to talk about it, but you still have those concerns, you can still reach out yourself. You can call 988, or reach out to one of our Behavioral Health programs if it’s a VNS Health client, and connect with a mental health professional who can then reach out and do an assessment of that person for safety

Catherine: Jeri, your thoughts on having these uncomfortable but important conversations?

Jeri: In addition to everything Deirdre just said, another thing that can make these conversations feel uncomfortable is that a lot of us have had personal experiences with suicidality. We may have had family members, friends, colleagues, patients, or clients who attempted suicide or even died by suicide. If that’s the case, thinking about having these conversations can make us feel very vulnerable. So we need to be aware of this and recognize our limits. Some people may not be in a position to have those conversations because of their own experiences, and we want to be respectful of that.

Catherine: Are there any special resources available to VNS Health team members who may be struggling personally?

Jeri: Yes. In addition to team members using their health benefits to access mental health services, we also recommend that team members who may be struggling connect with our Employee Assistance Program [EAP]. They offer individual counseling sessions, which a lot of people aren’t aware of, and feedback from team members who’ve used those services is that they’ve been very helpful.

I also want to emphasize that we’re a resource to each other. The work we do at VNS Health can be stressful, and sometimes what we encounter professionally overlaps with challenges in our personal lives, which is when the stress really can mount. So we need to be mindful of checking in and connecting with each other. Connection is a really powerful suicide prevention tool. Feeling connected and included is a key protective factor that helps reduce suicide risk. If you’re worried about someone, check in with them—the support we all get from simply forming and maintaining connections with others is so important.

Catherine: What is VNS Health doing to strengthen suicide prevention for our patients, members and clients?

Jeri: There’s a lot that we do well, but there’s also a lot we can improve upon. We’d like to see more training for team members across the organization, so everybody who touches our patients, clients or members is educated in suicide prevention. We also want to implement universal screening for suicide risk in our patient, member and client populations, so that when a clinician is doing an assessment out in the field or over the phone, they’re using an evidence-based tool to identify acuity and next steps to take. And we need clearer escalation protocols so that team members know exactly who to reach out to when they identify someone who may be at risk. It’s important to realize we’re not in this alone. We’re all part of a team.

Deirdre: This is all part of providing whole-person care. You can’t just address someone’s physical health—you also have to take into account their emotional wellbeing. If we can increase our capacity for suicide prevention as an organization, we’ll be providing better quality care and supporting the safety of our own team members.

Catherine: Thank you, Jeri and Deirdre, for sharing your expertise and for helping start this discussion on such a sensitive and important subject. I’m looking forward to the work we’ll be doing in the future as we continue to put more structure and support around suicide prevention.

Do you need help or would you like more training on suicide prevention?

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate physical danger or a medical emergency, call 911.

Additional resources: To access an application (app) offering nine training courses on Suicide Prevention, click here. This app is provided through a partnership between VNS Health Behavioral Health and Sharpen Technologies, and is funded by the New York State Office of Mental Health.

For connections to the Employee Assistance Programs:

  • For VNS Health team members through the VNS Health Intranet: click here.
  • For Home Health Aides who are members of the 1199SEIU, click here.
  • For Home Health Aides who are not union members, click here.

On September 16 and 23, the Employee Assistance Program is offering a webinar on Suicide Prevention. You can find out more information and register here: